The pandemic, amongst many things, has been the perfect storm for many relationships who’ve skirted the rocks for years. Even those couples who seemed on solid ground have found tempers frayed and patience tested after a year of lockdown’s intense confinement. It’s not new news that divorce rates have increased during the last year. Even the most fleeting of internet searches shows statistics from around the globe that corroborate what we’ve all seen in front of our eyes.
Lockdown has been hard for many of us. Spikes in mental health issues have affected many relationships, with stress and anxiety levels leading to frustrations taken out on those we are with. Arguments increase. Money, jobs, home-schooling: all strains that stretch the capacity of relationships to survive. And sometimes, it’s as simple as finally realising, when you’re stuck at home, that the person you’re stuck with just isn’t the one you want to be there.
Most people think of divorce like they do in the movies. Where there’s either two parties fighting like cat and dog, each vowing to “screw the other over”. Or there’s Meg Ryan crying on a low brick wall, waiting for Andy Garcia to take her in his arms and forgive her all her trespasses. In reality, it’s seldom like this. What’s more common is two people, who no longer want the same things in life. Two people who have built up some bitterness towards the other over the past who-knows-how-long. Two people who want a resolution but just don’t know how to get there.
Separations or divorces can be stressful and emotionally damaging. The process can intrude into your daily life, affecting your children, impacting your work. It can be undignified and disrespectful, and as a result sour any chance of a cordial relationship with someone who you once chose to spend your life with. However, it does not need to be like this. As Chair of the Tayside pod of Consensus Collaboration Scotland, Partner Ruth Croman is your best bet for trying to avoid all the damage that can be irreversibly done during traditional divorce proceedings. We can help resolve issues through a range of methods such as collaborative law, negotiation, mediation or arbitration, as well as litigation. The collaborative process focusses on finding resolutions instead of scoring points. It can be less stressful as well as less expensive, so there’s no losers, just two winners.